Four years ago to the day, I started a post... I typed it up, and set it to draft, and let it just sit there... I had just gotten home from my first date at 2am with a woman in a long time. I'd been single for 10 years at that point, since I had left college. I stopped blogging effectively around this time, because I wanted to spend more time with her... This just couldn't compete for my interest at that point... I started blogging because I needed an outlet... Mostly it was work stuff, but some personal crept in there... I found it therapeutic then... Hopefully it'll help me again, now...
This is that post:
5/16/04
Where to start... I've know her for a few months... She broke up with her last boyfriend late fall/early winter... That's when I met her... I'm not one to spend much time or thought on dating, but I figured out pretty fast, that she was something special... Eventually I managed to work up the nerve to ask her out, but, then she seemed to disappear for a bit, and wasn't all that friendly for a while... Seems someone else had caught her eye... Naturally, I, being the quiet one, let this lie... Later, in the spring, I started seeing more of her at my pub... Seems whoever she was interested in didn't work out... That's when I started loosing my grip on being the guy always in control mentally... I know that I'm falling for her, and there's not a thing I can do about... For that matter, I don't want to for the first time in a long time... I don't know where it will go, if it goes anyplace... I do know that I believe that it will be a good and worthwhile ride along the way...
5/17/08
Thursday, the 15th of May, 2008, the woman I had dated for a little over 24 hours shy of four years broke it off with me... There was no lack of love on either side... No lack of desire... Just, unfortunately, I guess a lack of compatibility for a variety of reasons...
I'm not the guy I was 4 years ago... I'm not really equipped to handle this right now. There isn't much of a support network out there for me these days as the majority of my friends have moved away, or drifted away... Hell even my bar that I hung out at is long gone...
The house is too quiet.
The phone isn't going to ring.
No emails will come in.
So I'm going to bury myself in work... That was how I got through things back in college when breakups were more of a norm... I hope it still works... Work isn't the same as it used to be either...