September 01, 2005

The DMV Rides Still...

Some time ago, the NJ DMV decided to try to spruce up its image... For years, here in the garden state, we knew of the horror that going to one of those places was... Hell just about anyone that had ever driven by one of those places knew what it was about... It was about long lines, rude employees, bureaucracy , and usually not getting what you wanted or needed to get done...

Enter, some marketing guy that sells the government on the idea of giving the DMV a new name, image and feeling... There's one flaw in the plan... Its subtle mind you, but its important...

They didn't change anything except the name of the organization!

So now, we have the MVC where we once had the DMV... Hell when you walk in to them, there are still DMV signs in place... I shit you not...

So I finally decided to get a NJ license, along with my girlfriend. I've been here for years, but I kept a PA license since my insurance was cheaper out there... Now with the house, my rate will be better here... Technically, the PA license is illegal since I live here, but screw that, its a technicality, and I'm not hurting anyone except the insurance companies, and them not by much... As for my girlfriend, she needs a NJ license to get in state tuition for some credits she needs for grad school... She's working down in Maryland, but she is going to use my address since the MD gig is temporary...

So off we go to the new and improved MVC Saturday...

I had a feeling it was going to be bad when we got there and the line was out the door, and strangely enough the symbol next to MVC was the same as the old DMV one... So we got in line with the rest of the lemmings, and waited while some woman working for the new and efficient organization was performing paperwork triage, handing out forms, and generally being rude to anyone with an accent... I was getting that old DMV dread again, but still I trudged on in the line since I wanted to be done with this aspect of my life...

I got to the front of the first line and the idiot tells me that he doesn't think I'll make it through all the lines to get the process done before they close... Now mind you, I'd been in line an hour... The line behind me was as long as when I got there, and they were still letting people in the door without mentioning that they wouldn't even make it to the front of the first line... So I told him he should give it the old college try, and get on with his job... Apparently the certified copy of my birth certificate isn't good enough for them... For the record, I just looked, and its good enough to get a passport, but its not good enough for the new and efficient MVC... So that ended my chance to get the license that day... I fumed, and vented, and generally entertained the other lemmings in line by arguing with the idiot, but it only made me feel better, didn't get me in to another line...

My girlfriend got through the first line... She was also told that she probably wouldn't make it through the other lines... Lines... Plural... There were no less than 3 other lines that I knew she had to trudge through, and I'm guessing possibly a 4th... But she was here for the weekend, so we decided to try... So she stood in line, waiting to get a permit (keep in mind she has a valid Maryland license), which would then allow her to get in another line to take an eye test, before standing in yet another line to take the written test, before having to stand in another line for the picture, after which she would be assigned a number, and told to sit down... Then at some point at their convenience they would actually hit print on the license machine and produce her license... They would then call her number to a line, where she would stand until she got to the front and they handed her the damn thing...

With 10 minutes before they closed she hadn't gotten through the first line after the entry line... Now there is no way these state employees were going to close the doors and take care of everyone that was already in process... That's not how we do it here... They say sorry, and get out, try again another time... At that point, you have to start over because the dates on the forms you filled out are wrong...

I'm not making this up.

Would you like to know how long it took me to get my Mississippi license transferred to Pennsylvania?... 23 minutes... I remember because I grew up in NJ and dreaded every DMV in the world... It didn't matter if you called it DMV, MVC, DOT, whatever... I remember going in to the PA place, and looking at my watch, and when I came back out it was 23 minutes later... I was shocked... Every ensuing experience I had in Pennsylvania were on a similar par... I gave me hope that it was possible that the NJ DMV had actually reformed... I thought the move to digitally produced licenses might help ease the NJ system...

I was wrong...

What's the solution?... Fire every god damn one of those idiots first and foremost. Then scrap the system. I mean in a big damn bonfire right in the middle of giants stadium so they should charge admission and re-coop the costs... I'd pay... Then stroll across the border, and ask Pennsylvania, nicely, if they could explain how to run an organization that caters to 12,281,054 residents rather than NJ's 8,414,350... Then lets start the hiring process... Previous employees are free to re-apply... All new employees must be tested to make sure their head is not planted up their ass... This will preclude most of the previous employees, but to be fair, they can't all be morons right?....

Posted by Backstage at September 1, 2005 10:10 PM | TrackBack
Comments
Post a comment









Remember personal info?