Yesterday, I had to attend a wedding... One of my cousins was getting married after dating the girl for years... This post hasn't a thing to do with that aspect, as I wouldn't think of developing an opinion on that... As usual, I sit in judgement of the "event"
The wedding itself, was in a church. The place looked nice enough outside, and I was shocked when I went inside and felt I had walked in to a funeral home... I wasn't the only one... Every member of the immediate family felt it... Very strange vibe... However, we proceeded in to the chapel (I guess that's the right word, being religiously ambivalent, I can't say) and it was quite nice... My only problem there with the facility was that when the couple was standing up on the stage(for lack of the proper word) it was impossible to see the priest unless you had a seat way over on the side of the room... Poor planning for weddings, but I'm sure this is a great space when just the priest is up there doing his thing... They had a decent sound system installed, and thankfully, they had someone on staff that could run it. The mics were run up and down smoothly, and there was not a single sound issue that they could control... Sound however was an issue to me... Let me explain...
There were perhaps 50 of us in the room... I suspect that 20 people minimum had cameras, beyond the two professional photographers. So there was a constant roar of shutters clicking, winders advancing, film rewinding after the last shot, that sound flashes make going off and beeping as people changed settings... I mean it was loud... Loud enough that the sound person had to turn up the priests mic... I swear I thought I was outside the academy awards, and I wouldn't have been surprised if the priest had sunglasses on due to flashes... Perhaps its just me, but if I ever get married, there will be no cameras allowed at the ceremony apart from the pros... I'd get a couple or three pros mind you so they'd get everything, but that would keep it down to a dull roar... Possibly I'd get 3 digital videographers, and eliminate all the flashes, film motors, and shutters completely... Something to think about...
So after that, we all went home for a couple hours before the reception... The reception was at a very expensive place in north Jersey... That side of the family has money, and I've been to one other wedding from that clan, so I knew it would be expensive.... The problems however started quickly...
As I got out of the car, the valet told me the room wasn't quite ready, and I could wait at the bar if I wanted... Well I was driving home later, and knew I'd have a couple at the reception proper, so I thought I'd wait the few minutes outside the room... Guess what?... Not only was the room not ready yet, but there was another reception still winding down in there... End result, was that all 190 of us in the reception had to wait almost 35-40 minutes while they got the other party out, and then turned the room around... That's not the wedding party's fault, but the facility is squarely in the wrong there... Fortunately, it was a beautiful day, so the wait which was outside was not big deal... Once we headed in, we were buried in food... They had enough food there to live on for a month or two, and this was just cocktail hour... Let me re-emphasize that Cocktail hour... Cocktail hour usually to me involves some appetizers, which we certainly had, and some drinks... Imagine if you will, 190 people trying to get drinks from 1, yes 1 bartender... Being one of the first in the room, I noticed that issue right away, and was third in line for a drink... I got 2 since I knew I'd never make it back again, and they were serving drinks in small rocks glasses... The liquor selection was lame considering I know what they were paying for the place, and I wouldn't use the beer they had even for a marinade... Poor planning again... Incidentally, there is no wheelchair access to this room... I have one relative that is confined to a wheelchair... They couldn't find the ramp... They had to carry her up and down the stairs... That infuriates me on two levels... First that my cousin picked that room, knowing the situation (though I imagine they told him they had a ramp). And more importantly, the facility guys didn't know where the ramp was... Its bad and lame enough that they don't have a permanent ramp, its unforgivable that it isn't sitting right there, all the time... Disgusting...
Off we all go to the main room... We do this by walking outside again since there is no indoor path to the atrium area... What the hell do they do in the rain?... I'll probably never know... Again, I sized up the room very quickly... The bar was on the far side of the room, but there were 3 guys waiting, so that looked better... There were also 5 tap handles, most of which I recognized, and was happier with the selection... (beer isn't that much of an obsession with me folks, it just goes to the planning of the event in my mind...) My table was in a corner, which I prefer, since you avoid getting bumped in to all night by people moving around, and it was as far from the DJ and speakers as possible... Personally I hate DJ's, but to each their own... Unfortunately apart from the annoying personality of DJ's, they now come equipped with their own little lighting packages... Typically they set these things up in front of their table, and they shine glaringly into the room... Yep, they did... I sat down with my back to them, and let my unknowing relatives get the bad seats... Note to DJ's... Point the damn wiggle lights up against the ceiling, or get them high enough to keep them down on the dance floor!!! And incidentally, there is no fucking way you should have a laser effect parking at eye level anyplace, keep that thing moving, and keep it up or down...
Over all, the event was fine to most people... I'm sure the bride and groom had a good time, and most of the people in attendance aren't bothered by things like I am... I can guarantee you though that if I ever get around to getting married, I will have a damn production staff involved, and it will be perfect if I go the "event" route... More likely, I'll do it all outdoors, with a barbecue, and if it rains, we'll all go bowling instead...
Posted by Backstage at September 25, 2005 08:17 PM | TrackBack