This is directed at the Middllesex Ledger Extra...
You miserable rat bastards!
First, and worst, is that you keep directing someone to dump your useless rag in my yard... I don't want your free gift to me, even at this time of year... I don't clip the coupons, and I don't read the articles... All you do is provide something I now have to clean up from my yard...
Second, lets discuss your lovely plastic bags... You're so proud of your free rag, that you have your name printed on every bag... Ya know, that's just great, so now I know who to direct my rage at... You may want to consider however that the bag which you are providing to keep your rag dry in the elements was printed with a water soluble ink... I've been throwing your waste of resources out since I bought my house a couple years ago, and I only discovered this today... Unfortunately, my girlfriend chooses to read your rag unless I get to it first... Yesterday she brought one in from the rain and dropped it on my floor. This morning I discovered a negative of your logo inked on my solid cherry floor that I installed... You rat fucks... Thank god I didn't go for carpet in the living room... I can't get mad at my girlfriend, I mean who would expect that the ink would run off a bag designed to keep a paper dry...
There's another issue with your bags incidentally... They tend to have holes in them... Now I don't read your paper, so how could I know right?.. Well I do use plastic bags to pick up dog shit... I've become something of an expert on the qualities of the various plastic bags that come in to a person's life for nothing... I mean why spend money on something to pick up after a dog right?... Your bags have holes in them... That means not only do they not protect your useless paper from the elements, but I am forced to stockpile them so I can double them up just to clean up dog crap... Can you imagine... Your bags aren't even good enough to hold shit...
Posted by Backstage at December 23, 2006 02:32 PM | TrackBack