Backstage

Railings...

Wait... What's this... A post?... The world must be about to end...

Today's rant is brought to you courtesy of a railing... Not just any railing mind you, but a specific one that is currently making my life a living hell...

Railings are a source of constant headache for most scene shops... Why, you ask?... Well there are a few reasons... The first and most common is that in a lot of cases, as a stagehand you don't really feel they are needed in some places, so you get annoyed... That's not really a valid reason, but it happens... Next, is that they almost always get left to the last moment to do if they're simply backstage safety rails, since unless you finish the front of the scenery, nobody is going to need the backstage railings.... So you end up hacking something together late in the load in, and it sucks, and you're tired, and you just don't give a damn about the talent getting a splinter from it... Another reason they suck so much is that they are getting installed on scenery... That's right, that concrete wall the railing is mounted to only looks like concrete, it's actually a 1/4" of luan with some nice paint work, so in reality, it's crap... Yet, somehow, the director wants the 300# actor to drag himself up the stairs using it, and can't stand the thought of the wall shaking...
Those are the most common issues with railings on stage shows... Sadly, that isn't really my problem right now... We're working on a massive corporate meeting for one of our usual clients. The design is absolutely gorgeous as far as I'm concerned... Here's the problem... The railings have to be attached to another company's decking that has only 4 boltable points on it on a 4' x 8' deck... That's one in each corner folks... Highly annoying... That however can be overcome, and I've pretty much solved that aspect... Next is the fact that they want the railings to be made from plexiglass... Well, at almost $500 per sheet for the thickness they specified, that blew the budget pretty quickly... So next I went to a framed panel of plexi, and posts... Sadly posts cost too much to have aesthetically pleasing ones... So now we're a few post companies down the road and still have no solution... But wait, there's more... This railing isn't for actors, its for executives... These people are going to come in to the room, and sit around in the comfortable "conversation nooks" the designer has created, and I guarantee that they're going to lean against the railings hard...

Now, let me break it down a bit... Here are the problems... 1) the railing needs to have the right "look" 2) the railing needs to be 100% rock solid 3) the entire show, including the railings need to load-in in 36 hours (sounds like a lot, except that we're building around 500 separate items that all have to be bolted together, and we're not the only company involved) 4) they don't want to spend what it would cost to do it right...

That's the recipe folks... And you set that in the oven and cook for 1 month, and in the end you have a spectacular event... The problem is they are trying to dictate the end results without adding the proper ingredients...

And someplace in this month (with 3 other shows besides the huge one) I will be closing on my new (highly used) house... Like I'm going to have time to move... Geesh...

Posted by Backstage at December 29, 2004 10:20 PM