So, I just got a panicky call from one of my more troublesome clients... They asked if I could build a coffee cup... After putting my mug down carefully so as not to spill any, I inquired what they were talking about... Well they want a giant mug built to surround a case they have... They don't know where it's going, or if it has to move around, or even what it is supposed to be finished with... So he actually took a picture of the coffee mug on his desk and emailed it to me so I'd know what he was talking about...
Now, really folks, I can build a coffee mug of just about any size... I can build it to hold liquid, create steam, get up and dance if you really need it to... What I can not do is build you a coffee mug with no dimensions, or information... If you ask me to do that, I will go to Wal Mart, purchase the cheapest mug I can find, charge you several thousand dollars for custom fabrication and laugh all the way to the bank...
Get with the program before you call me! Ugh!!!
Let me talk a bit about atmosphere effects... Now, I'm not going to get in to the health issues associated with these effects in this post, but be aware there are some systems that have been proven to be problems in that department, so if you are going to use one, find out what the story is on it first...
What I want to discuss is the hassle associated with these effects... (I'll get to today's little nightmare in a bit...) There are a few different types... 'Haze' is sort of like an all over effect, that just makes things a little blurry, and highlights lighting beams really nicely... 'Smoke' tends to be fairly dense when created, it will eventually dissipate in to a haze, or it may simply get blown away (by any number of means) before it breaks up. It is pretty opaque... 'Fog' is similar to the smoke, but is usually chilled so it hugs the floor. Depending on how it is made, it may simply evaporate into nothing, or it may warm, and turn to a haze before going away...
Here's the thing that they all have in common... They all are based on some type of particle that is suspended in the air... Some do that with water vapor, some with oils, or glycerines... The particle reflects, or refracts the light, so it will be visible... Now, here's what makes these things absolutely miserable in my book... Smoke alarms are designed to detect smoke, which is combustion products, mostly very fine ash... Smoke alarms can not tell the difference between real smoke, and an atmospheric effect... Smoke alarms are everywhere folks, which is good, until you are trying to make your theatre smoky/foggy/hazy... Then they are a royal pain in the ass...
Tonight, I was running an event that had a hazer specified as part of the show. Today, I asked the administration contact I have about the fire detection equipment in the space... I was informed that the sensors in the space are heat detectors, rather than smoke detectors... That is pretty common in a number of theatres now as the atmospheric effects have become more prevalent... Tonight in the middle of rehearsal (thankfully no audience) the alarms went off... No less than 5 engines, and ladders showed up, along with a chief, and an assistant chief... I'm thinking it must have been a slow night at the fire house, but whatever the reasoning, they all came... They were thankfully very cool about the situation... They did inform me that contrary to what every singe rat bastard that I asked told me, not only are all the sensors in the space particle based detectors, but that it is policy in those spaces that no smoke/fog/haze machines are to be used... The client was less than happy when I informed them that there was no chance in hell I was going to fire up the hazer again until I had something signed by the administration, and the fire inspector detailing that there was some kind of waver of the policy... The lieutenant informed me that it is possible to hire one of the firemen during the show, which would allow us to deactivate the smoke system in the theatre... That is my preferred option if I can't simply get them to cut the effect... Why?... Well while setting off a fire alarm that rousts at least one fire house is embarrassing at the least and dangerous because they may have to respond elsewhere at the worst, there is the unforeseen aspect of an alarm going off in a full theatre... People have this annoying tendency to panic in that situation... Even if there isn't a fire, that panic can result in a lot of people getting injured, or worse...
For my nickel, most people don't need the effect... Those that do need the effects have a tendency to run them too long... Its theatre folks, its about the willing suspension of disbelief... If you give people the slightest hint of the smoke or haze, their minds will do the rest if your show is done well... If you are trying to hide your crappy show behind "big" effects, you need more help than some suspended particles...
So we took a job where we are working for a university. In this case, we are working for the dance department. Being a university situation, you almost always get student labor... This case is no different... We have 12 students assigned to us each night. For the most part we only have a couple that are repeating through out the week, so we start from scratch pretty much each day... These kids (they're mostly freshmen, so I'll call them kids) are dancers, and for the most part, they really don't care about tech work. (there are a couple notable exceptions thankfully!) I've never seen so many people show up to a work call wearing flip flops...
The designer I don't know... Looking at her paperwork I think I'm better off that way as it seems this may be her first go around at designing... A word of advice to those who may not be professional lighting folks and are trying to design... DO NOT CHANGE WHAT YOUR SYMBOLS MEAN HALFWAY THROUGH YOUR LIGHTING PLOT!!!!!! Wait, let me offer another tidbit... DO NOT SPECIFY EQUIPMENT THAT IS NOT IN STOCK WHEN THERE IS NO BUDGET FOR A RENTAL!!!!! Oh, yea, this too... DO NOT HANG THE SINGLE LARGEST, HEAVIEST UNIT AVAILABLE ON A CRAPPY SIDE ARM ON A BOOM!!!!
It's going to be a long week I fear...
I can't wait to get back to corporate work...
So I've been looking for a Hoosier cabinet for a little while. The apartment I'm in has almost no counter space or cabinets in the kitchen, so getting one of these old kitchen units was the most sensible choice. Here's the catch... Nobody makes these things much any more... Yes there are a few custom places that will do it, but I don't really want to spend a fortune on this... So I sent my parents off on the mission since they're retired and enjoy hunting down things at auctions... Well, last Monday they got one, and it didn't cost a fortune fortunately... Here's the next catch... It needs some restoration... So I'm thinking to my self, no problem, so long as the tambour is ok, I can handle anything else... So they dropped it off, and naturally, the tambours are shot. (tambour is the group of wood slats that slides in a track like on a roll top desk) (I can do tambour, but its a huge pain in the ass) So, now, I don't really have something useful at the moment... What I have is probably a month long restoration project... By the time I'm done buying sandpaper, paint stripper, new screws, and a couple replacement latches, paint and sealer, I will have spent a ton on this unit... 'Course it'll be quite nice, and serve my needs forever, but damn, what a pain...
At this point, I've got the top almost completely taken apart. The shelves are all stripped as is the face of the unit... One of the upper doors is completely stripped, and the other I have to wait on some special sandpaper for... I've got 6 of 54 tambour slats stripped. The top is really in pretty good shape except for the nasty paint job on it and some missing glass... The bottom is a little different story... Apart from it having been painted blood red at some point inside, the drawer supports that hold the two silverware drawers under the sliding porcelain top need to be replaced. The jar rack on the inside of the lower door is hanging on by a thread, the bread drawer needs to be straightened and a new lid installed, the back panel is cracked, and two legs are loose and missing their feet...
Now with all that wrong with it, and needing to be stripped and painted completely, we still got it for a decent price... I've seen units that I would consider as not much more than firewood go for over a grand... So in the grand scheme of things, I suppose I should be happy, and really I am... The thing is, I really hate sanding... Ugh!
For those that don't know what these things are, here's a little history and some pictures. (mine is actually a Hoosier brand, rather than just hoosier style)
Ok, I think I have the blogroll cleaned up again... Let me know if I botched it someplace if you notice... Note to self... Perhaps making this a monthy process will make it suck a bit less...
There are few things that are driving me as nuts lately as realtor web sites... Almost every single one of them has stopped posting the actual address of the property, and only gives you the zip code. Personally, I'd like to take a drive by the places in question before I deal with the actual realtor. There's just no point in my putting up with one of them until I at least know I'm interested. The other thing is that these people simply don't keep on top of their web site content... There are houses listed that have been sold for weeks, if not months on some of them... Realtor.com is the worst since it doesn't actually belong to any of the realtors... Lots of properties there have just been forgotten about, and the add stays up month after month...
I found one yesterday where the email address for the realtor in question was wrong... Come on folks, setting up a web page isn't exactly brain surgery... I'm not talking about the bells and whistles here... just get the friggin content accurate...
Geesh...
Wow, I must have too much time on my hands today, I actually had time to roam the net, bouncing from blog to blog to article, in a seemingly endless chain that I couldn't hope to repeat... Did I note any of the rather interesting articles or posts I came across?... No... I didn't even realize I was going through the process until a couple hours later... This is what I was reading when I noted the time.... 295 miracles a day in the US according to this guy... (he's defineing a miracle in this case as a 1 in a million type situation) Intersting read... And at this point I will go back to my regular lack of linkage, and blathering posts...
In most theatrical shops you can find bins and bins of screws. They're useful for just about any project, and they are dependable... Most shops are fond of using drywall screws for most projects. We fit nicely into that group. I am however always on the look out for something better... Well there is something better, but the cost is pretty much prohibitive... When you think drywall screw, you should be envisioning a black, or gray screw with a bugle head, and a Phillips drive... That is the classic drywall screw... Well you can get screws with all manor of drives these days, and the one in question today is the square drive... Yes, its a way better way to put force to the screw... Yes, its far less likely to can out on you, ruining the head, and your driver... Here's the catch... They're freaking expensive!... You can not convince me that it costs the screw manufacturer that much more to make square drive heads over Phillips drive heads... You can not justify the increased cost by saying that it is a superior system... We're talking about drywall screws here folks, not fine woodworking screws... The things that you put in by the hundred and thousand hanging drywall, and we use in similar quantity building scenery... These things need to be one step off free, and yet, the square drive drywall screws are very close to three times the cost of their Phillips drive brethren... For that much extra money, I want the damn things to screw themselves in to the wood...
As much as I hate to say it, screw square drives!
(oh, I just couldn't resist that one...)